Now this is some exciting news…… John Maine came to terms with the Mets for $3.3 Million. Lets hope, for some reason that he has a good season. Even though he has only had one good season in his career. And by season I mean pitching a decent amount of games, being over .500 and having an ERA under 4.
Lets me realistic. This guy is nothing more then average at best. Hopefully they can trade him and someone else for a real pitcher.
The Mets defeated the Astros by the score of 7-1 at Citi Field tonight.
John Maine finally did not suck assholes and went seven innings and while striking out seven. He only allowed 1 run on five hits and got his 7th win this season.
The Mets amazingly smashed 14 hits tonight.
Jeff Francoeurcrushed thego ahead two run home run which scored David Wright in the sixth inning.
The Mets scored four more runs in the eighth thanks to an Omir Santos RBI single, an Anderson Hernandez sacrifice fly that scored Fernando Tatis.
Daniel Murphy also crushed a pinch hit two run home run.
Beltran, Murphy, Francoeur, and Wright are keepers. Ditch everyone else.
The Mets have 2 games left in the season and go again tomorrow afternoon at 1:10 pm, with Pat Misch facing Yorman Bazardo.
The Mets lost again to the Fish by the score of 9-6 at Land Shark Stadium.
John Maine is back to his old self again. Damn, finally. He was back in form tonight in one of his most entertaining starts of the young season. Maine pitch absolutely shitty for 4.2 innings, allowing just 7 runs on 7 hits and a couple of walks.
It was nice to see that after 6 months on the DL with a chip on his shoulder, he “rehabilitated” himself enough to come back and suck extra asshole. He should have just stayed on the fucking bench. Forever. Ship that fuck face out.
At one point, he threw such a shitty pitch, that he actually beaned a kid in the fucking face, that was sitting right above the Mets dug out. They had to carry the kid out on a stretcher. Maine could not believe what he had just done…
Don’t worry, the kid was fine. The kid did the customary thumbs up while being carted out of the stadium. Nobody bothered to tell Maine that the baby was fine. He thought he just killed a kid, and was visibly shaken, as you can see here after the inning…
Turns out Maine, was not upset that he beaned a baby, he thought he had head lice. K-Rod helped out Maine, by taking a look. Negative. Nothing. Maine was apparently fine, but not fine enough to pitch the next inning when he gave up 5 fucking runs.
The kid had this to say…
Even Cameron Maybin, got in on the action against Maine, of all the fucking people in the world, and smoked a fucking 3 run bomb that ended Maines evening.
The Mets all around, played pretty shitty tonight. Wright did not run fast enough to score on a single by Francoeur, which he tried to stretch into a double. He was out at 2nd before Wright crossed the plate to end the inning.
Tatis hit a 2 run shot, and Wright doubled in Pagan before not running fast enough.
Beltran smashed his 11th homer of the year, but that was all she wrote.
The Mets threatened in the 9th and scored a few runs, but came up about as short as a midget’s dick.
Well, this long painful season is still not fucking over, as we have another game tomorrow against this fucking assholes.
The Mets defeated the Marlins by the score of 6-5 at Land Shark Stadium in Miami tonight.
Jeff Francoeur crushed athree run home run in the second, but Tim Redding allowed a three run home run to Hanley Ramirez in the bottom of the fifth, and then Redding and the bullpen allowed two more runs to score in the bottom of the seventh inning on a Jorge Cantu opposite field double, which was fucking fantastic.
The Mets scored their fourth run in the seventh inning when David Wright struck out on a fucking wild pitch, allowing Brian Schneider to score. Talk about swinging at bad pitches, the fucking ball almost landed in the dug out, and this douche bag still swings?
In the ninth inning, the Mets loaded the bases with nobody out against Marlins closer Leo Nunez, and Cory Sullivan hit an opposite field two run single to score Francoeur and Daniel Murphy and then guess what, Wright struck out again.
David Wright struck out 4 times tonight. Fucking sweet. Thanks dude.
The Mets continue against the Marlins tomorrow night in Miami with John Maine facing Sean West.
John Maine pitched five shutout innings to earn his first victory since fucking May and the New York Mets beat the Washington Nationals 6-2 on Sunday, and clinched 2nd to last place. Pop the bottles, dog, pop the bottles.
Daniel Murphy smashed two hits and two RBIs for the Mets, which won two of three in the weekend series between the bottom dwellers in the NL East. It was a battle for shit supremacy.
Murphy is batting .347 (17 for 49) with two homers and 11 RBIs in his last 13 games. Kid can definitely crush it.
Angel Pagan finished with three hits and is a fucking hitting machine and Luis Castillo had two for the Mets, who scored their most runs since a 10-9 victory at Philadelphia on Sept. 12.
Carlos Beltran had an RBI single in the 3rd and Wilson Valdez added a two-run triple in the 8th. I actually liked the lineup today, minus Wilson Valdez. Thanks for the triple, fuck face, now go fuck your ugly wife…
Maine (6-5) allowed two singles and a walk in his best start since he was sidelined for more than three months with a sore pussy. He finally came off the disabled list last Sunday at Philadelphia and yielded one run and two hits over three innings in a 5-4 loss.
The Mets lost to the Phillies 5 to 4 in Philadelphia in the first game of today’s double-header.
John Maine made his first start since June 6 going 3 innings and tossing 57 meatballs. He gave up an RBI double to Ryan Howard in the first inning, but that was it. His fastball was hitting just over 57 mph, which baffled the Phillies.
He also announced that he and former Met Duaner “Dirty” Sanchez, are now engaged…
Shane Victorino and Ben Francisco each clobbered home runs off Tobi “I’m a huge” Stoner.
The Mets scored two runs against Brad Lidge in the ninth, but still came up short.
Josh “Ass” Thole was 4–for-4 with an RBI and a run scored.
Following the game, Jerry Manuel said, “it looks like this “Ass” Thole will have a bright future.”
Pedro Martinez outdueled Tim Redding, leading the Philadelphia Phillies to a 1-0 win over the New York Mets and completed the doubleheader sweep on Sunday night.
Pedro beaned Luis Castillo just for shits and giggles.
Martinez (5-0) looked pretty fucking good, struck out seven and threw 130 pitches in eight shutout innings. He retired 10 straight at one point and the NL East-leading Phillies are now 7-0 when he starts. Fucking awesome. We couldn’t have used him at all this year.
After the game, Omar Minaya had this to say…”Damn.”
Tim Redding (2-6) looked fucking great, too, over six innings and retired 14 straight at one point.
Chase Ugly had an RBI single in the first inning, for the only offense of the whole fucking game. What a barn burner right?
David Wright crushed a two-out, two-run homer in the ninth inning off Ryan Madson, and the New York Mets came from behind to win 10-9 over the Philadelphia Phillies on Saturday.
Wright blasted 2 hr’s and matched a career high with six fucking RBIs. The Mets scored five runs in the final two innings to shock the shit out of the Phillies. Madson blew his sixth save.
Pedro Feliciano (6-4) got the final out in the eighth inning, with the bases loaded for the win. Francisco Rodriguez pitched a flawless ninth for his 31st save.
As usual, Chase Utley,Raul Ibanez and Pedro Feliz crushed bombs for the Phillies. But Beltran and Wright put up 3 of their own.
Chef Mike Pelfrey served up meatballs all day staring with Ruiz in the second, and again in the third when Utley and Ibanez each hit their 31st homers. Ibanez pulled the ball into the right-field seats for a two-run shot that put the Phillies ahead 5-4, that missed the statue of Rocky Balboa by a cunt hair.
Chef Pelfrey gave up 8 runs and 32 hits, and looked like a puss filled pimple on a strippers asshole. If he is going to keep serving up meatballs like this, I think its time he found a new profession that more suits his pitching style…
Also, yesterday I said I would shave off my ball hairs and glue them to my friend, Marty’s chin, while he was sleeping in a drunken stooper. Luckily for us all, I drugged him earlier in the day, and I was able to complete my mission. Below is a picture of Marty after waking up to find his new facial hair…
Mets play again tomorrow with Pedro Martinez, facing John Maine, who is fresh from the DL. Hopefully this will not be a complete disaster.
Gary Sheffield and Carlos Delgado are not coming back for the rest of the season, due to the fact that they are both 50 years old, and at that age, their pussies begin to hurt a lot more.
Sheffield is currently suffering from back and pussy spasms.
Delgado was on his way back from surgery on his hip before straining a penis muscle in August, and he is not currently performing any baseball or sexual activities.
Delgado was hitting .298 with four home runs and 23 RBI in 26 games before being shutdown.
Both players will be free agents at the end of the season. Bye, you fucking pussies. See you guys later.
After pitching four scoreless innings in a minor league rehab game on Saturday for St. Lucie, John Maine returned to the Mets for yesterday’s game in New York.
Maine went on to say that getting paid millions of dollars to do nothing is what cured him, as Dr. James Andrews instructed him on July 29 to stop throwing and start drinking patron for two weeks, and Maine said that made the difference.
He does regret not resting earlier, telling reporters:
“I probably should’ve starting drinking earlier but didn’t.”
“As soon as I was feeling better I stopped throwing off the mound and long tossing, I knew I was not going to pitch.”
He says that drinking during the off season will ensure he is ready for Spring Training.
And lastly, yesterday in Brooklyn, Carlos Beltran batted second for the Cyclones and went 1 for 5 with a run scored as the Cyclones lost.
After the game, Beltran declared himself 100 percent and said “I’m good to go.”
Although there has been no official word as to when Beltran might be activated, he is hoping that he returns to action tomorrow against the Marlins at Citi Field.
Gary “Baba Booey” Dell’abate, producer of the Howard Stern show (my favorite), has single handedly ruined the Mets season. The New York Mets were in 1st place and healthy on May 9, 2009. Then this happened…
Gary launched a fuckin meatball into the fuckin stands. The worst pitch in the history of baseball.
Ever since that fateful pitch, the fuckin Mets were doomed. They went into a downward spiral from which they never recovered. Lets take a look at the unfortunate series of events that have occured since that day.
The Mets were in 1st place with a 16-13 record, since then, they have gone 41-57.
Every single player on the Mets opening day roster has been to the disabled list… Most never to return this season.
April 18th: Brian Schneider, right after it was announced Baba Booey was going to throw out the 1st pitch.
May 8th: Oliver Perez, the day before the fateful pitch.
May 16th: Carlos Delgado May 19th: Alex Cora May 26th: Ryan Church & Jose Reyes
June 2nd – Angel Pagan June 5th – Ramon Martinez June 6th - J.J. Putz June 12th: John Maine June 23rd: Carlos Beltran
July 10th: Fernando Martinez July 11th: Church for Francoeur Trade Helps the squad but doesn’t add any depth to the depleted team.July 20th: Fernando Nieve July 26th: Gary Sheffield
August 5th: Jon Niese
August 16th: David Wright
August 18th: Alex Cora (second time)
August 25th: Johan Santana
August 26th: Oliver Perez (second time)
Need more proof? I think otherwise. But here is more proof.
I love Howard Stern, and I like Baba Booey, but this motherfucker needs to stay the fuck away from the fuckin Mets.
I actually met Gary once, in Boca Raton, Fl at Neighborhood’s Sports BAr and Grill, for a Mets playoff game against the Cardinals in 2006. I had the pleasure of sitting at the table next to him. The Mets were winning then too, in the playoffs and everything, then I speak to him, and the next day the Mets collapse. We all know what happened in 2006, and 2007, and 2008, and now 2009.
You think this is coincidence, I do not. And I blame Gary, that buck toothed bastard.
Thanks a lot, Gary, you fuckin asshole. Maybe I can have Gary give me his tickets, so I can go to a game in style.
Mets play again tomorrow with Pedro Martinez, facing John Maine, who is fresh from the DL. Hopefully this will not be a complete disaster.
