The Mets defeated the Astros by the score of 5-1 today at Citi Field and won their final series of the year.  If the Mets win, they will finish the season at .500 for the season at home.

Pat Misch went five innings and allowed a run on five hits before the rain started in the sixth inning.  Amazingly this fuck face pitched well enough to  earn his third victory.

In that fourth inning, Josh Thole hit his first career triple.

Fernando Tatis drove in two runs with a two out single in the bottom of the fifth inning.

S-Rod rebounded from his disastrous previous outing and earned himself the save.

The Mets finally play their final game of this shitty fucking season tomorrow afternoon at 1:10 pm at Citi Field, with Nelson “Go Fucking” Figueroa facing Wilton Lopez.

These fuck faces lost again to the fucking cock sucking Braves tonight by the score of 3-1 at Shiti Field.

I am fucking sick of Shiti Field.  Who the fuck makes a giant baseball field that you need a fucking 500ft home run to get it out of fucking right field.  But thats a whole other article.

Nelson “Go Fucking” Figueroa lasted seven innings and allowed two runs on just two hits, fucked shit up in the fourth inning when two runs scored on a Yunel “Pablo” Escobar single. You’ve seen the movie, he lika da basebal.

The Mets threatened in the seventh inning but the Mets fucked it up as usual.   Daniel Murphy led off with a single and Brian Schneider doubled him to third, but with one out, super clutch hitter and double play master, Fernando Tatis popped up the first pitch he saw, and douche face, Cory Sullivan, flew out to center field.  Way to fucking go guys, way to fucking go.

Wild man, Francisco Rodriguez, gave up an extra run for us, in the ninth inning thanks to fucking double by this cock face Escobar who was singled in by Adam LaRoche.   Thanks Heilman Junior.

These fuck faces have to play these fucking cock sucking  Braves tomorrow night at 7:10 pm when Mike “The Meat Missile” Pelfrey to faces Tim Hudson.

The New York Mets lost again tonight, to the Braves by the score of 7-3 at Turner Field.  The game was delayed 2 hours, 3 minutes by rain, which was fucking awesome.

Brian McCann hit a go-ahead, three-run fucking moonshot in the fifth inning off of “Go Fuckin” Figueroa.  He gave up several more runs as well, but I honestly do not feel like talking about it tonight.

The Muts scored a couple runs on a shitty bloop hit to right by Tatis, which brought around Francoeur and Murphy.  Daniel Murphy collected three hits for the Muts, including an eighth-inning homer off Eric O’Flaherty.

New York (63-84) has lost five straight and nine of 10 to fall 21 games under .500 for the first time since Oct. 2, 2004, when it was 70-91.

The Mets suck so much, Vito was seen waiting outside the locker room for them to come out.

The Mets lost, yet again, tonight to the Marlins 6-3 at Citi Field.  I fucking told you motherfuckers.

This cock sandwich Misch was bound to fold like a deck of cards.

I knew he was fucking terrible after they sent him back down to the fuckin minors the first time.  The fucking afternoon they recall him, this happened.  I even made a fucking special picture which I finally get to really unveil.  I knew I would need it.

The following picture is rather appropriate for this evening…

Pat Misch fucking lost his shit tonight in the first inning, allowing four runs. Three of which, came on a three-run bomb that fucking cock face Cody Ross, fucking crushed to Ibiza.

Right before that Misch fucking served three singles in a row.  Way to go, you fucking meat missle.

Misch allowed just one more run, a fucking mammoth shot that bounced off of  fucking Jupiter by Dan Uggla.

Ricky Nolasco, on the other hand, had a fucking one hitter until the sixth.

The Mets scored in the seventh. Carlos Beltran hit a rope that moved David Wright from first to third.  Daniel Murphy then notched a RBI double. Jeff Francoeur brought Beltran home on a ball sack fly, and Fernando Tatis, did what he does best and capped off the scoring with a ground out, which, just happen score Murphy.

That was the end of the fucking offense for these shit heads.

Regis Carpetmunch at MetsBlog.com summed it up best…At least the fans all got free hot dogs.

The Mets conclude their series with the Marlins tomorrow night, with Bobby Parnell (3-7, 5.25) facing Sean West (6-5, 4.61) at 7:10 p.m.

Everyone… print one of these out and fucking hold it up in the air while you watch the game… We will see if it works, but don’t get your fucking hopes up…

The Mets (59-73) continue their three-game series with the Rockies (73-59) at 8:40 pm tonight.

Tim “the Toolbag” Redding will be tossing meatballs for the Mets.  I never thought I would say these words, but Redding has looked great his last 2 outings.  He will most likely implode tonight, so be forewarned.

He is taking on Ubaldo “No You Are” Jimenez, who will hurl slop for the Rockies. The right-hander is 5-1 with a 1.77 ERA over his last six starts, but had a career-best five-game winning streak snapped in his last outing.  That sucks for us.

Angel Pagan leading off, followed by Luis Castillo, Daniel Murphy, Jeff Francoeur, Cory Sullivan, Fernando Tatis, Brian Schneider, Wilson Valdez and Redding.

Tonight the Mets lost to the Colorado Rockies in Denver by the score of  8-3.

Mike Pelfrey was fucking terrible as usual.  He really just sucks big moosecock.  Pelfrey pitched 4 terrible innings and allowed 7 runs on hits, and 5 walks including 2 home-runs.  Carlos Gonzalez and Todd Helton clobbered a couple meatballs into the Rocky Mountains that left the field of view over right field.  Mercifully, they pulled him.

David Wright looked like a fucking freak with his new helmet, but did well going 1 for 3 with a walk.

The Mets scored and took the lead in the first when Pagan, Castillo, and Wright started the game with singles.  Jeff Francoeur hit a ball sack fly to score Castillo, and a Fernando Tatis double scored Wright.  They were unable to hang on due to Pelfrey’s shitty outing.

They scored one more time in the seventh on back to back triples by Cory Sullivan and Pagan, but never were able to catch up to Helton’s 4 RBIs.

At least, it was good to see Wright back on the field, even if he looked like a real life bobble head.  The Mets still suck balls, and all the guys on the DL are pussies, and not this kind…

They continue in Denver tomorrow night with Tim “the Tool Bag Redding” going against Ubaldo Jimenez in Denver.

The Mets (59–72) begin a three-game series with the Colorado Rockies (72–59) tonight at 8:40 pm.

David Wright was activated from the disabled list before tonight’s game. First and foremost, I want to thank Wright for being a fuckin man. He is a trooper. This fuckin guy was beaned in the fuckin dome with a 95mph fastball two weeks ago and he is back. Whoever said that he was not a good leader, is misinformed. This dude has been dying to get back on the field. A true warrior. Welcome back, now do some fuckin damage please.

He looks like he has aged just a bit since being hit, but you guys judge for yourselves. This pic was taken just minutes ago…

Mike “I Will Never Reach My Potential” Pelfrey (9-9, 4.80) will be tossing meatballs for the Mets. Pelfrey has a 20–inning scoreless streak against the Rockies, which will probably end somewhere around his 3rd or 4th pitch tonight.

Jorge De La Rosa (12-9, 4.72) will hurl slop for the Rockies. De La Rosa gave up just two runs and three hits in 6.1 innings in his last outing against the Mets.

Angel Pagan is leading off tonight for the Mets, followed by Luis Castillo, David Wright, Jeff Francoeur, Fernando Tatis, Nick Evans, Omir Santos, Anderson Hernandez.

The Mets were defeated by the Cubs by the score of 5-2 this afternoon at Wrigley Field.

Unbelievably, this was a pitchers duel until the eighth inning, as Pat Misch, made it into the seventh inning and allowed just a run.  I apologize to Pat Misch, for assuming he would suck cock sandwiches.  Next time, he will, I can assure you.

The Mets took the lead in the top of the eighth inning when Fernando Tatis doubled in Angel Pagan.

The lead was short lived as Brian Stokes, completely fuckin ruined the game for the Mets, first by allowing a leadoff double to Milton Bradley, followed by an RBI single by Aramis Ramirez.  He then walked Jeff Baker, Alfonso Soriano, who hasn’t hit a home run in months, crushed a three run homer which put Chicago ahead for good.  Thank Stokes, you suck bulls balls.

The Mets continue their series against the Cubs tomorrow at 4:10 pm, with Bobby “I throw one pitch” Parnell, facing Ryan Dempster.

The Mets (58–70) are in Chicago to face the Cubs  (63-62) for a  three-game series.  May the force be with us.

Angel Pagan is leading off, followed by Luis Castillo, Daniel Murphy, Jeff Francoeur, Fernando Tatis, Omir Santos,  Cory Sullivan, and Wilson Valdez.

Pat Misch (0-1, 4.09 ERA) is making his first start of the year for the Mets.  He is fuckin horrible, and will most likely get smoked like a fuckin sausage.

Ted Lilly (9-8, 3.40 ERA) has given up just two runs in 12 innings over his last two starts. Damn.

Jerry Manuel had this to say before the game…

The Mets crushed the Marlins by the score of 10-3 today at Land Shark Stadium in Miami.

The Mets were fuckin crushing the balla nd had 17 hits.  Every starting position player had at least two hits, with Daniel Murphy leading the way with three RBIs. Angel Pagan, and Fernando Tatis also had solo homers today.   Pagan is a mini beast.

Tim “the Tool Bag” Redding amazingly went into the seventh inning after a shitty start and gave upa few homers and five hits.  I made this last time in anticipation of a shitty start and again I will have to save it for next time…

The Mets start a three game series against the Cubs tomorrow at 2:20 p.m. with Pat Misch (0-1, 4.09) making his first start of the year, opposing Ted Lilly (9-8, 3.40) at Wrigley Field.  Misch sucks cock and balls, so in anticipation of Pat Misch’s shitty start tomorrow, I will reuse this photo which I created last week when he blew a game…