These fuck faces lost again to the fucking cock sucking Braves tonight by the score of 3-1 at Shiti Field.

I am fucking sick of Shiti Field.  Who the fuck makes a giant baseball field that you need a fucking 500ft home run to get it out of fucking right field.  But thats a whole other article.

Nelson “Go Fucking” Figueroa lasted seven innings and allowed two runs on just two hits, fucked shit up in the fourth inning when two runs scored on a Yunel “Pablo” Escobar single. You’ve seen the movie, he lika da basebal.

The Mets threatened in the seventh inning but the Mets fucked it up as usual.   Daniel Murphy led off with a single and Brian Schneider doubled him to third, but with one out, super clutch hitter and double play master, Fernando Tatis popped up the first pitch he saw, and douche face, Cory Sullivan, flew out to center field.  Way to fucking go guys, way to fucking go.

Wild man, Francisco Rodriguez, gave up an extra run for us, in the ninth inning thanks to fucking double by this cock face Escobar who was singled in by Adam LaRoche.   Thanks Heilman Junior.

These fuck faces have to play these fucking cock sucking  Braves tomorrow night at 7:10 pm when Mike “The Meat Missile” Pelfrey to faces Tim Hudson.

The Mets beat the Cubs, 4-2, at Citi Field this afternoon.

Mike Pelfrey threw eight strong innings, allowing only five hits, one run and walking one while striking out five.  This is the guy we have been looking for the whole fucking year.  I am sick of the yoyo shit.  Either be good or suck, so we know what to expect already.  It’s like a fuckig crap shoot every time he pitches.

Daniel Murphy provided the offense for the Mets, going 3-for-4 with a triple and a homer and driving in all four runs.  I hope the Mets keep Murphy around next year.  I think he will be an excellent ball player.  He has been through a lot as a young baller, but has really matured down the stretch.

Angel Pagan and Brian Schneider each had two hits for the Mets as well.

Francisco Rodriguez made it interesting in the ninth, walking Jeff Baker and allowing an RBI double to Geovany Soto, but got the groundout from Kosuke Fukudome to end the game.

The Mets finish up their series with the Cubs today at Citi Field.

Angel Pagan is leading off, followed byLuis Castillo, David Wright, Daniel Murphy, Jeff Francoeur, Cory Sullivan,Brian Schneider, and Anderson Hernandez.

Mike “I Will Never Reach My Potential” Pelfrey (9-10, 5.03 ERA) will toss meatballs for the Mets.  Pelfrey has to be one of the worst pitchers  I have ever seen.  Well, at least lately.

Randy “No Relation to David” Wells (10-7, 2.90 ERA) will hurl slop for the Cubs.

Once again, cross your fucking fingers Mets fans!

The Mets (59-73) continue their three-game series with the Rockies (73-59) at 8:40 pm tonight.

Tim “the Toolbag” Redding will be tossing meatballs for the Mets.  I never thought I would say these words, but Redding has looked great his last 2 outings.  He will most likely implode tonight, so be forewarned.

He is taking on Ubaldo “No You Are” Jimenez, who will hurl slop for the Rockies. The right-hander is 5-1 with a 1.77 ERA over his last six starts, but had a career-best five-game winning streak snapped in his last outing.  That sucks for us.

Angel Pagan leading off, followed by Luis Castillo, Daniel Murphy, Jeff Francoeur, Cory Sullivan, Fernando Tatis, Brian Schneider, Wilson Valdez and Redding.

Gary “Baba Booey” Dell’abate, producer of the Howard Stern show (my favorite), has single handedly ruined the Mets season.  The New York Mets were in 1st place and healthy on May 9, 2009.  Then this happened…

Gary launched a fuckin meatball into the fuckin stands.  The worst pitch in the history of baseball.

Ever since that fateful pitch, the fuckin Mets were doomed.  They went into a downward spiral from which they never recovered.  Lets take a look at the unfortunate series of events that have occured since that day.

The Mets were in 1st place with a 16-13 record, since then, they have gone 41-57.

Every single player on the Mets opening day roster has been to the disabled list… Most never to return this season.

April 18th: Brian Schneider, right after it was announced Baba Booey was going to throw out the 1st pitch.

May 8th: Oliver Perez,  the day before the fateful pitch.

May 16th: Carlos Delgado   May 19th: Alex Cora   May 26th: Ryan Church & Jose Reyes

June 2nd – Angel Pagan   June 5th – Ramon Martinez   June 6th - J.J. Putz   June 12th: John Maine  June 23rd: Carlos Beltran

July 10th: Fernando Martinez  July 11th: Church for Francoeur Trade Helps the squad but doesn’t add any depth to the depleted team. July 20th: Fernando Nieve    July 26th: Gary Sheffield

August 5th: Jon Niese

August 16th: David Wright

August 18th: Alex Cora (second time)

August 25th: Johan Santana

August 26th: Oliver Perez (second time)

Need more proof?  I think otherwise.  But here is more proof.

I love Howard Stern, and I like Baba Booey, but this motherfucker needs to stay the fuck away from the fuckin Mets.

I actually met Gary once, in Boca Raton, Fl at Neighborhood’s Sports BAr and Grill, for a Mets playoff game against the Cardinals in 2006.   I had the pleasure of sitting at the table next to him.  The Mets were winning then too, in the playoffs and everything, then I speak to him, and the next day the Mets collapse.  We all know what happened in 2006, and 2007, and 2008, and now 2009.

You think this is coincidence, I do not.  And I blame Gary, that buck toothed bastard.

Thanks a lot, Gary, you fuckin asshole.  Maybe I can have Gary give me his tickets, so I can go to a game in style.

What’s left of the Mets, will continue their three game series against the Marlins, tonight at Land Shark Stadium in Miami.

Angel Pagan leading off, followed by Luis Castillo, Daniel Murphy, Jeff Francoeur, Cory Sullivan, Fernando Tatis, Brian Schneider, and Anderson Hernandez.

Mike Pelfrey (9-8, 4.67 ERA) will toss meatballs for the Mets.   He is the only motherfucker left.

Josh Johnson (12-3, 2.99 ERA) will hurl fire for the Marlins.  Johnson has dominated the Mets allowing 1 hit over 400o innings.

Look for the Mets, to get the shit kicked out of them, since Pelfrey is due for a shitty night.

The New York Mets lost to the Philadelphia Phillies by the score of 9-7.

Worst free agent signing in history, Oliver Perez,  lasted only 0.2 innings, and allowed 6 runs, on 4 hits and 2 walks.  That was 0.2 innings, I said.  He sucks so bad that he can suck the chrome off a chrome dildo.  Jayson Werth and Carlos Ruiz each connected on a few meatballs that sent the ball so high that they actually caused a helicopter and small aircraft to collide.

The Mets got a few runs back in the 1st on an inside the park home run by Angel Pagan, and Daniel Murphy scored on Jeff Francoeur’s triple.

Nelson Figueroa, who came in for that shit face, Perez, gave up a pair of runs in the top of thr 3rd, on a few walks, a few singles and a ball sac fly by Jimmy Rollins.  Even that cock sandwich, Pedro Martinez added an RBI single.  That made the score 8-2.

In the 3rd, Pagan crushed a Pedro Martinez custom meatball to the deepest part of centerfield.  I have said once, and I will say it again,  I like this Angel Pagan character.  If he stays healthy, I think he would be a great everyday player.

Luis Castillo, who has been on fuckin fire, went 3 for 3 with a walk, scored on a ground out by Cory Sullivan in the 3rd and again in the 7th on a Daniel Murphy single.  I am giving the “Go Fuck Yourselves for Thinking I Was Going to Suck Moose Cock Award” to Castillo.

I asked Castillo about the award, and he had this to say “I want to dedicate this award to you, the fans, I did this for you, just so I can get this award.  It means so much to me to be able to say… to you… the fans… Go Fuck Yourselves!”

Good for you Castillo.  This fuckin guy is batting  .320 right now.  He has stepped it up, big time.  I salute you sir.

Sean “Call me Aaron Heilman” Green allowed a run in the 8th on a wild shitty pitch to make it 9-5.  This fuckin guy is dog shit.  Show him the door.

In other news, Brian Schneider was o for 4 and now has a cool .176 batting average.  Eliminate him, immediately.

Anderson Hernandez broke his 0 of 47 hitless street and hit a single to score Cory Sullivan in the 8th.  Congratulations, you suck.

In the bottom of the 9th, Angel Pagan scored when the Phillies made an error, and had 2 on base with the winning run at the plate.  Jeff Francoeur smashed a liner right up the middle with both runners on the move, but Eric Bruntlet of all the fuckin people in the world, caught the line drive, stepped on 2nd, and tagged Daniel Murphy for the unassisted TRIPLE FUCKIN PLAY!  Can you imagine?  Unfuckinbelieveable. Game over.

I have to say that these guys have shown a lot of heart recently.  Castillo, Murphy, Francoeur,  keep it up.  The Mets finish their series with the Phillies tomorrow night at Citi Field with Booby Parnell going against Cliff Lee.  That is going to suck.

The Mets (56-64) conclude their series against the Braves (63-57) tonight at 7:10 pm at Citi Field.  Johan is pitching, so hopefully we have a shot.

Angel Pagan is leading off, followed by Luis Castillo, Daniel Murphy, Jeff Francoeur, Cory Sullivan, Fernando Tatis, Brian Schneider, and Anderson Hernandez.  This is the Power line-up.  They only play these guys when they want to crush 25 homers per game, as I am sure you can tell by the Mets tremedous home run total this season.

Johan Santana (13-8, 3.10 ERA) will toss meatballs for the Mets. Santana has been hot lately, but that does not amount to shit, if the Mets do n0t score runs.

Kenshin Kawakami (5-9, 4.13 ERA) will hurl slop for the Braves.  He is 0-2 with a 3.09 ERA against the Mets this season in two appearances, but that will probably change tonight.

This little fucker had this too say…

The Mets conclude their four-game series tonight with the Giants in Citi Field at 7:10 pm, with 143 year old, 63 mph meatball tosser, Livan Hernandez (7-7, 5.28 ERA) taking on Joe Martinez (2-1, 6.00).

Cory Sullivan is leading off, followed by Luis Castillo, Gary Sheffield, Daniel Murphy, Jeff Francoeur, Fernando Tatis, Brian Schneider, and Anderson Hernandez.

143 year old, 63 mph meatball tosser, Livan Hernandez has walked seventy batters and allowed 32 runs and 45 hits in his last two starts. He allowed twenty five runs and thirty eight hits over five innings against the Giants earlier this May. He continues to suck bulls balls.

With Wright out of the lineup for the foreseeable future, we will get to see which little leaguers on the team have the potential to be future stars. Do not get used to any of these faces, since 90% of them will not be back next year. Cross those motherfuckin fingers Mets Fans!

With 143 year old, 63 mph meatball tosser,  Livan Hernandez (7-7, 5.28 ERA) on the mound tonight and David Wright, Gary Sheffield, and Angel Pagan on the bench, you knew this shit was not going to be pretty.  In 4 innings, Hernandez gave up 6 hits, 3 walks, and 5 runs and took some balls on the chin from the Dbacks in the 5-2 loss.

I got some fucking news for the New York Mets and Livan Hernandez… they are on to you, and by they I mean everyone.  How long did you really fucking think you could trick Major League baseball players into missing 58 mph fastballs?  I could see it working once or twice, because these big bastards are used to hitting 100mph fastballs.  A guy coming in pitching 56mph, could throw you off a bit.  But now, when they know this senior citizen is pitching, they call in a little leaguer to throw batting practice, and by game time, these motherfuckers are creaming the ball like he is tossing underhand.

Jeff Franceour smashed a homerun  to the leftfield seats for the Mets in the 2nd and Fernando Tatis scored on a single by Alex Cora in the 4th.  Franceour also tripled, and continues to be hot.  I actually like this guy, and I hope he sticks around for a minute.  He was the only good move we made all year.

Schneider sucks cock and balls and has to go. ASAP!

Mets sloppy field play continued with 2 more errors by these dick bags who all suck…