The New York Mets’ prized prospect Ike Davis made his MLB debut tonight in a 6-1 victory over the Chicago Cubs.

Davis singled in his first AB and went 2 for 4 on the night.  This kid is a stud, and hopefully he starts crushing it and we get a nice new weapon.

The Mets sent 9 hitters to the plate in the 7th, when Angel Pagan got the party started with a 2 run bomb.

J Bay hit a nice double and went 2 for 4.  Hopefully he will get out of that fuckin funk.

Jon Niese sucks dick, but was mildly acceptable tonight.  We still need pitching.  Fucking bad.

Anyway, bad news for those of you hoping the Mets adopt Wild Willie, the people loving seal.  He recently decided, he does not like people anymore.  This pic was taken before… well, I think you get it.

Well, low and behold, as we are nearing the end of spring training and the final spots on the team are up for grabs.  The New York Mets only have a few spots to fill.  Okay, a few more than a few.

Lets take a look at the locks first…

LF- Bay

RF- Francoeur

3B- Wright

SS- Reyes

2B- Castillo- most hate him, I like him.  He had one bad year in 2008, and one bad catch in 2009, other than that, he was our second best hitter no matter how you slice it.

1B-Murphy- Murph will definitely have the job opening day, but he better have a fast start and that’s a whole separate conversation.

SP- Santana

RP- Feliciano

CP- Rodriguez

So that leaves us with a C, 4 SP’s, 6 RP’s, and CF.

At catcher, it is looking like Barajas and Blanco, leaving the odd man out, Omir Santos.  I like Santos, and I think given an opportunity to play a whole season, he could be a .285 hitter with 15-20 hr and 80 RBIs, much like Daniel Murphy.  Barajas and Blanco are sub .230 hitters.  They have some power, and maybe working with Hojo, they can learn some plate discipline.

I said we need 4 starting pitchers because let’s face it, we need 4 SP’s, and fucking quick.  Here is my theory.  Give the job to the 4 best guys in spring.  No matter who they are.  Whoever performed the best, we keep.  Why risk it with Perez, Maine, Pelfrey and Niese?

Give Jenry Mejia a fucking shot.  The kid is an animal.  Igarashi has looked fucking great.  Give the best performers a shot.  Perez, Maine and Pelfrey have all showed this spring, that miracles do not happen.  These fucking cock sandwiches are not going to all of a sudden, get it and become all stars.  Let’s face it, they suck dick.

So as far as the rotation goes, keep the guys who are doing the best as SP’s and the rest go to the bull pen.  Perez could become our 2nd lefty out of the pen!  No need to trade anyone.

That leaves Centerfield.  It is a race between Gary Mathews, and Angel Pagan, or at least until old rusty knee Beltran comes back.  I think this has to go to Pagan.  The guy is a maniac, and I believe he will be an allstar one day.  Mark my words.  I think he has earned the shot.  Mathews has looked awesome this spring, but he is older and we might be able to get a less shitty SP than what we have for him, and that can help.

So why the headline?  Well, Figueroa is a strange case.  He pitches fucking awesome when it doesn’t fucking matter.  He did awesome in the WBC, and awesome in the beginning of the spring when the Mets and there opponents were facing highschoolers.  The problem with this guy is, he is good when he is good, but when he is bad, he is on a whole different level.

This fucking guy gave up 7 fucking runs on 8 hits in one inning against the Marlins.  Today of all days, this guy should have been making his case to be on this team and he goes out and does this.  He did this last year and the year before and the the year before that.   That is why he is going to be 36 years old, and has never competed in a full MLB season.  He is a fucking liability.

Sorry Danny, I know he is your boy. But he needs to peace the fuck out.  I don’t give a shit if he is a nice guy or not.  I’ll hang out with the dude, I just do not want him pitching for the Mets.

I am live on the scene in Port St. Lucie where the Mets are taking on the Astros.

I got sick seats… Section 104 Row AA Seat 1 in between the Mets dugout and On Deck circle.

Angel Pagan and Gary Mathews were slugging it out in BP…

Angel Pagan just signed my ball, literally my ball.

The “Situation” from the Jersey Shore just bounced the ceremonial first pitch, while being booed loudly by 4000 people. Fucking classic!

Now I am sitting right next to the Situation from Jersey Shore. what a douche, but he did sign my ball… literally my other ball. See his ridiculous autograph below.

Also the park is no longer called Tradition Field, it is now Digital Domain Park.

Johan is throwing some heat. But slowing down to a simmer as we get later in the game.

Jon Niese looked good and fuckin K-Rod is a fuckin beast. He looked great.

Daniel Murphy also put the Mets ahead for good with a blast in the 6th.

Dude is focused, he did not even chuckle when I told him to call his shot and point to the stands like Babe Ruth. He was 2 1/2 feet away from me. He did not laugh…

But he did crush that homer and I did get a nod at the end of the game with a smile.

Overall, these assholes look focused. That is a good sign.

Pagan is a machine. Dude was working out non-stop.

Overall sick day, Mets won 5-2.

The Mets (70–92) completed a three-game sweep of the Astros with a 4–0 win today in Citi Field, ending the 2009 season.

Nelon “Go Fucking” Figueroa looked fucking fantastic and threw a complete-game shut out, giving up just four hits, no walks and striking out seven.

Angel Pagan was 4 for 4, with two doubles, a triple and two runs scored and certainly made his case for next season.

Luis Castillo and David Wright each hit RBI ball sac-flys.

Josh Thole was 3 for 4, and hit .321 in 17 games with the Mets.  Way to go kid.  Good fucking luck.

The three-game sweep of the Astros pushed the Mets to 70 wins.

And so ends a dismal season,   I will comment soon, stay tuned…

These fucking assholes lost to the Nationals again by the score of 4-3 tonight.

With a 3-0 lead, Mike Pelfrey melted down like a Hershey’s Kiss making impact with the sun in the fifth inning when he allowed a two run cannon ball to Ian Desmond and then Ryan Zimmerman singled in Willie Harris and Elijah Dukes to tie the shit up.

The Mets had plenty of fucking chances to score, but fucked it up each time, but the best fuck up of the night was in the eighth inning when, with loaded bases and no one out, Brian Schneider popped out for the first out, and then fuck face, Jeremy Reed, lined into an inning ending double play.

The Mets threw away the game, in the bottom of the eighth, thanks to some fucking  errors, starting with a shitty meatball toss by Anderson Hernandez to Luis Castillo on a routine double play ground ball, who then launched a horrible meatball which almost landed in the second deck over first base that scored Justin Maxwell for the go-ahead run.

The Mets had a fucking shot in the 9th, but fucking douche bag, Elijah Dukes, made a fucking incredible catch on D Wright’s fly ball to end the game with Angel Pagan on with two outs.

Thank the lord, tomorrow is our last road game for the season as we try to avoid being swept by the fucking  Nationals, with Tim “the Tool Bag” Redding facing John Lannan.

John Maine pitched five shutout innings to earn his first victory since fucking May and the New York Mets beat the Washington Nationals 6-2 on Sunday, and clinched 2nd to last place.  Pop the bottles, dog, pop the bottles.

Daniel Murphy smashed two hits and two RBIs for the Mets, which won two of three in the weekend series between the bottom dwellers in the NL East.   It was a battle for shit supremacy.

Murphy is batting .347 (17 for 49) with two homers and 11 RBIs in his last 13 games. Kid can definitely crush it.

Angel Pagan finished with three hits and is a fucking hitting machine and Luis Castillo had two for the Mets, who scored their most runs since a 10-9 victory at Philadelphia on Sept. 12.

Carlos Beltran had an RBI single in the 3rd and Wilson Valdez added a two-run triple in the 8th.  I actually liked the lineup today, minus Wilson Valdez.  Thanks for the triple, fuck face, now go fuck your ugly wife…

Maine (6-5) allowed two singles and a walk in his best start since he was sidelined for more than three months with a sore pussy. He finally came off the disabled list last Sunday at Philadelphia and yielded one run and two hits over three innings in a 5-4 loss.

Congratulations John Maine, you cock sandwich.

The Marlins swept the Mets by the score of 13-4 tonight at Citi Field.

Bobby “One Pitch” Parnell is back to ball sucking, as he imploded like a fucking shit can minus the shit. What exactly that is like, I have no idea but it just felt right.

Even though he claimed he quit, Jerry Manuel found Parnell before the game with a mouth full of these…

In the 1st inning, Parnell allowed the first five fucking guys to reach base, and he walked in 2 runs. Watching the top of the 1st was worse than getting a molar pulled with no anesthesia.

Our fucking sick bull pen, which consists of Lance Broadway, Sean Green and Pedro Feliciano, allowed an additional seventeen runs in 2 2/3 innings. They are all cock sandwiches.

One bright spot was, Mets pitcher of the Future, Tobi “Big Time” Stoner, who pitched a scoreless inning with his 82mph meatballs.  Sick.  He entered to Cyprus Hill’s song, “Hits from the Bong”.

Angel Pagan and Jeff Francoeur were both 3 for 4 at the plate, and the Mets did manage to score 4 runs. It is just that 13 runs ia more than 4.

Pagan made his 322nd mental lapse, when he ran like a fucking chicken without a head with one out on a pop out by Francoeur.

The Mets are heading to Philly tomorrow as they try to get swept in 4, with Nelson Figueroa facing Cole Hamels.

The Mets play the Marlins tonight at 7:10 pm at Citi Field in game 2 of the series.

Tonight’s game attendees get to suck on a free wiener tonight, courtesy of the Mets, who have been sucking wieners the entire season.

Angel Pagan is leading off, followed by Luis Castillo, David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Daniel Murphy, Jeff Francoeur, Josh “Ass” Thole, and Anderson Hernandez.

Pat Misch (1-1, 3.25 ERA) will toss underhand meatballs for the Mets. Misch has filled in nicely lately, in the staring rotation, but I fear that, soon other teams, will realize he sucks.

Ricky Nolasco (10-8, 5.27 ERA) will hurl slop for the Marlins. This guy is a prime Tool Academy candidate.

Actually, speaking of Tool Academy, here is David Wright and Jose Reyes making their case to be on the show…

Enjoy the dicks, I mean Dogs, in your mouths.

NEW YORK —Hanley Ramirez and Cameron Maybin, of all the fucking people in the world, each hit a long two-run homer, and the Florida Marlins beat the New York Mets 4-2 on Tuesday night. Fucking cock faces.

Carlos Beltran is fucking back!

Carlos Beltran returned to the Mets’ lineup after missing 70 games with a fucking bruise, and nearly hit a go-ahead grand slam in the seventh inning. His drive to right field was caught a step or two in front of the fence by that cock sandwich, Cody Ross, keeping Florida’s 4-2 lead in tact.

Sidelined since June 22 with a bruise on his right knee and a wild case of the shits, Beltran was activated from the disabled list before the game and finished 1 for 4 with a fly-ball double to left. He also made a smooth, greasy shit, while sliding to make a catch in center.

Trailing by 2, New York tried to mount a rally against that fuck, Sanches in the seventh. Three singles later, and that loaded the bases for David Wright, who struck the fuck out.  Beltran’s long fly left the Mets 4 for 55 (.073) with the bases loaded and two outs this season, which about sums up the season.

The Tool Bag Has Arrived!

Ramirez, fucking crushed a pitch from Tim Redding (2-5) to deep left in the third. The drive appeared to clip the bottom of a sign that hangs from a Delta flight that was flying over head.  The plane made an emergency landing at LaGuardia shortly thereafter.  Everyone was fine.

Maybin connected with a Redding meatball in the 4th after cock sandwich, Cody Ross’ double, that sailed over the home run apple last seen heading down the LIE to the Hamptons.

It was the third career homer for this fucking douchebag.

Rookie catcher Josh “Ass” Thole hit a  ball sack fly for the Mets in the fourth, his first major league RBI. Angel Pagan tripled in the fifth and scored on Luis Castillo’s infield single.

Well it was nice to see fuck face back.  Now he better start producing.

The Mets (62-75) begin a three-game series with the Marlins (72-65) at 7:10 pm tonight in Citi Field.

Carlos Beltran will return to the lineup, bat fourth and start in center field tonight.  His bruise which has keep him out since June, that’s right, a fucking bruise, is almost healed, according to Beltran. Looks like some of the steroids he was taking have worn off a bit, but he still did show up to Citi Field dressed like this…

Angel Pagan is leading off, followed by Luis Castillo, David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Daniel Murphy, Jeff Francoeur, Josh Thole, Anderson Hernandez and Tim Redding.

Rick VandenHurk (2-2, 4.91 ERA) is hurling slop for the Fish.   The Mets have demolished this fucking fool, every time they have faced him.

Tim “The Tool Bag”  Redding (2-4, 5.70 ERA) is tossing meatballs for the Mets.  He has looked great the last few outings.  I hate to be a pessimist, but I have a feeling this shit is over and he will revert back to his old shitty form any second now.