Aug 02 2009
Sasquatch Spotted at Fenway
In other news, Johnny Damon showed up at Fenway tonight out of nowhere, with his celebrity wife, the lady from the TV show Big Love, to throw out the first pitch. He was then shot in the neck with a tranquilizer dart, shot by a sniper from the green monster. His wife was then struck, too, and both had to be carted off the field.
“I thought it was Chewbaca or a fuckin Sasquatch,” Sniper, Carl Baynesworth said, “how the fuck am I supposed to know Johnny Damon was going to show up with his weird fuckin wife?”
“So I shot them both”, he said. He shot them both right after this photo was taken. Damon was on hand to congratulate Hall of Famer, Jim Rice, after the Red Sox retired his number. Damon had the night off in the Bronx.
