Today it was announced that Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden will be inducted into the Mets Hall of Fame. I am an 80’s child. My favorite glove playing little league was an outfielders glove that was red. It had the signature of Darryl Strawberry inside. On the back of all my little league baseball cards it asked who my favorite player was. It of course read Darryl Strawberry. Little did I know, as a 10 year old playing on the fields of Amity Baseball Little League in Brooklyn, NY. That my favorite player was an outright crack head. GOD, Those were the good old days. I remember the games when “Dwight Was Right At Night”, this is a saying that my dad used when we would watch games at night on TV. Dwight Gooden would dominate opponents with his fastball. Little did I know he was a crack head. Two of my favorite players at the time. I never knew they were both headed for the big house.   One thing I do have to be thankful for. These felons gave me my last taste of championship baseball for a die hard Mets fan.

On a side note. Davey Johnson and Frank Cashen are getting in as well. The Manager and GM team that brought the players together in 86′. With this wild bunch. You have to give a ton of credit to these guys for holding it down.

Forget Stephen Strasburg or Aroldis Chapman, the Mets signed a record breaking $427 million 15 year contract on this kid…

His name is Darrell Sanford.  He is 3 months old, which will make him 15 years and 3 months old, when his contract is up.  We have no idea what position he will be playing because he has yet to walk, or speak for that matter.  Omar Minaya said he is unsure if this kid even will ever develop motor skills,  but said he remains committed to stocking the farm system with young prospects.

Sanford had this to say after the signing and receiving a check for $427 million…

Tiger Woods has finally showed his face.  He took the photo below earlier today with his wife Elin.  They want to show the public that they are standing strong despite the media frenzy surrounding the world’s richest athlete.  I do not know about you, but for some weird reason, I do not think these injuries are consistent with a car accident.

Just when you thought the Mets could not make any shittier moves to help this fucking horrible team we have, the Mets have done it again.

Today they announced the resigning of shitty shortstop Alex Cora, to a 1 year deal with an option for 2011.  This fuckface will get a whopping $2 fucking million, with incentives to earn more.  Horrible fucking move in my opinion.  What’s yours?

To make matters worse, they also signed  C Chris Coste.  This fucking shit sucker Coste, hit .224 in 88 games with the Phillies and Astros last season, during which he played 15 games at first base.  He also wrote a book called “The 33 Year Old Rookie”, which should be renamed to the “The 36 Year Old Shitty Catcher Who Once Played 1st Base So He Was Aquired By the New York Mets to Be Their Power Hitting First Baseman.”

Fucking awesome.

LA MARQUE, Texas – A fucking moron blamed a low-flying pelican and a dropped cell phone for his veering his million-dollar sports car off a road and into a salt marsh near Galveston. The accident happened about 3 p.m. Wednesday on the frontage road of Interstate 45 northbound in La Marque, about 35 miles southeast of Houston.

The Lufkin, Texas, idiot told of driving his luxury, French-built Bugatti Veyron when the bird distracted him, said La Marque police Lt. Greg Gilchrist. This fuck face dropped his cell phone, reached to pick it up and veered off the road and into the salt marsh. The car was half-submerged in the brine about 20 feet from the road when police arrived.

Gilchrist said he doesn’t know if the car was salvageable, but in his words, “Salt water isn’t good for anything.” He says the man, whose identity hasn’t been released, was not injured.

A 2006 Bugatti Veyron was recently offered for sale in Jonesboro, Ark., for $1.25 million.

Mike Tyson has been arrested at LAX airport for battery, after a bloody confrontation with a fan who wanted an autograph outside the United terminal. We’re told Tyson punched the guy 63 times in 4 seconds in the face.

Tyson was booked for misdemeanor battery and paid his bail.  The fan was also booked on misdemeanor battery — Tyson claims the fan got so close he actually made contact with the boxer.

We’re told Tyson was at a ticket counter at the United Airlines terminal when the incident occurred. The fan got punched in the face, hit the ground, got up, got punched again and began walking, leaving a trail of blood.

Someone at the scene tells TMZ … the fan got very close to Tyson before the boxer struck him. Our source says there’s blood and numerous teeth on the ground and Mike was taken away in a squad car. We’re told an ambulance was dispatched at 4:39 PM to LAX and the paparazzo was transported to a local hospital.

Cops say Tyson and the fan performed citizen’s arrests on each other — both are expected to be booked for misdemeanor battery. Cops also said witnesses backed both stories … so that could get interesting.

If Tyson is prosecuted, given that he’s a former boxing champ, the charge could end up being assault with a deadly weapon.

Tyson’s rep says he was traveling with his 10-month old daughter when he was attacked by an overly excited fan — adding the boxer acted in self-defense to protect his child.

Well, I would like to take this to time to congratulate the 2009 World Champions, the New York Yankees.  These fucking cock suckers did it again.  But I am happy for them.  The kicked the shit out of the entire Phillies team, minus Chase Utley, who is a fucking monster.

And Mariano Rivera, what can you say, mother fucking killer.  I like that fucking guy.

I just hope the fucking Mets wake up and smell the fucking coffee.  These motherfuckers better do whatever it takes to get us the motherfucking talent that we motherfucking need.

Mortgage the fucking house, do what needs to be done and fucking produce.  Period.

To the Yankees fans reading this, congrats on a job well done, you guys deserve it.  But tomorrow, go fuck yourselves again.

Today, in a stunning move, Playboy founder, and biggest pimp of all time, Hugh Hefner,  announced that the magazine was going to try something new.

Playboy has announced they will feature a male nude model in an upcoming issue.  This nude model will be in drag, and the nude model will be none other than, Iron Mike Tyson. 

I got an exclusive pic from the shoot, which went down today in Los Angeles… enjoy, you sick fucks!

The New York Mets announced today the signing of their future second baseman, the legendary Chewbacca.  The Mets announced the deal earlier today, which sent a bag of baseballs and 3 hot dogs to the Milwaukee Brewers for Chewbacca.

Omar Minaya said, “Even though he has zero baseball experience, he does this loud yelp thing, which will help players in the field identify when something is happening.”

This will be a big upgrade from Luis Castillo, who despite being able to hit well, sucks in the field.

Things got off to a rocky start already, when Chewbacca went ballistic and mauled several reporters, when they tried to ask him some questions.  One reporter is in serious condition and the other one is listed as stable.

Well, any upgrade can help at this point.  May the fucking force be with us.

LEBANON, Pa. – Police in central Pennsylvania say they’ve nabbed a real pothead. They said an officer spotted 29-year-old Cesar Lopez inside a convenience store with a bag of marijuana stuck to his forehead. Investigators said Lopez was seen peering inside his baseball cap early Saturday morning in Lebanon, about 75 miles northwest of Philadelphia. When Lopez looked up, the officer noticed a small plastic bag appearing to contain marijuana stuck to his forehead.

Police said the officer peeled the bag off Lopez’s forehead and placed him under arrest. He has been charged with drug possession. Police do not know whether Lopez has an attorney.

Authorities say the sweatband of a baseball cap is a frequent hiding place for drugs.   You don’t say?  Thanks for the info, fucking moronic police.