The fucking Mets (67–92) got swept by the fucking Nationals (55–103), losing 7 to 4 in Washington DC today.

With a 4-2 lead going into the bottom of the 9th, S-Rod (Suck Rod), loaded the fucking bases, and then walked in a run a and then gave up a walk-off, game-winning grand slam.

Man, I have had to use that fucking picture way too fucking much.  I want to beat the shit out of S-Rod.

The Nationals have been fucking 0-87 (real fucking stat) when down through eight innings.  Only the Mets could break that streak.

Tim “the Tool Bag” Redding looked pretty good, giving up just one run and four hits in six innings.

The Mets scored an early two runs in the second, thanks to a lead-off walk from Carlos Beltran, followed by a double from Jeff Francoeur, a sac-fly by Fernando Tatis and single from Omir Santos.

I have fucking had it this season, stick a fucking fork in me, because I am fucking done.

I know I am usually pretty liberal with my facts, but the following news article is 100% true… I shit you not, check for yourselves.

The rapper DMX is scheduled for a fight against Eric Martinez on the same card where Butterbean will take on Tank Abbott.

Go ahead, read that sentence again, and let it soak in.

Thunder Promotions, who is putting on this card in Birmingham, Ala. on Dec. 12, must not have been satisfied that the Butterbean/Tank Abbott bout was enough of a freak show fight. Eric “Butterbean” Esch, at 5′11″, 350 lbs., will likely outweigh the veteran Abbott by nearly 100 lbs.

But nothing screams freak show fights like a celebrity bout. DMX, the rapper who once was a part of Ruff Ryders, has become better known for his run-ins with the law than his musical talents. Cocaine and marijuana possession, theft, animal cruelty, criminal weapon possession, DUI, parole violations and giving a false name and social security number at a hospital are all part of his past.

In a recent interview, DMX said that he is working on two albums now because “the streets need him.”  He didn’t mention any training for MMA, but hey, who needs to train for a fight? The good news for DMX is that MMA is not regulated in Alabama, which is why freak show fights like this can happen. Drug testing is usually under the control of the state regulatory commissions, so DMX will most likely not have to take a drug test.

Reality TV star Spencer Pratt and baseball player Jose Canseco have also dipped their toes in the MMA pool. With Canseco, his fight ended in 77 seconds. Let’s see if DMX can last that long.

Old Mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard, to get her dog a bone…

But when she bent over, ROVER TOOK OVER, and she got a bone of her own…

These fucking assholes lost to the Nationals again by the score of 4-3 tonight.

With a 3-0 lead, Mike Pelfrey melted down like a Hershey’s Kiss making impact with the sun in the fifth inning when he allowed a two run cannon ball to Ian Desmond and then Ryan Zimmerman singled in Willie Harris and Elijah Dukes to tie the shit up.

The Mets had plenty of fucking chances to score, but fucked it up each time, but the best fuck up of the night was in the eighth inning when, with loaded bases and no one out, Brian Schneider popped out for the first out, and then fuck face, Jeremy Reed, lined into an inning ending double play.

The Mets threw away the game, in the bottom of the eighth, thanks to some fucking  errors, starting with a shitty meatball toss by Anderson Hernandez to Luis Castillo on a routine double play ground ball, who then launched a horrible meatball which almost landed in the second deck over first base that scored Justin Maxwell for the go-ahead run.

The Mets had a fucking shot in the 9th, but fucking douche bag, Elijah Dukes, made a fucking incredible catch on D Wright’s fly ball to end the game with Angel Pagan on with two outs.

Thank the lord, tomorrow is our last road game for the season as we try to avoid being swept by the fucking  Nationals, with Tim “the Tool Bag” Redding facing John Lannan.

These fuck faces lost for the 90th time to the fucking Nationals by the score of 2-1 tonight in Washington.

Nelson “Go Fuckin” Figueroa pitched took the loss on the fucking chin again, but tossed meatballs well, allowing two runs on six hits in six innings.  This asshole is 0-5 in September.

The Muts had runners in scoring position in six of the first seven innings, but could not score for shit against Ross Rotwieller.   This cock sandwich earned his first Major League Victory. Ever.  Must be nice to have decent rookies.

Here are the Mets rookies… I shit you not…

The Mets will unfortunately be playing tomorrow night when they send Mike “I Suck Meat Missiles” Pelfrey to face J.D. Martin.

Holy Misch!  Pat Misch pitched a complete game eight-hitter, the first of his career, and the New York Mets beat the Florida Marlins at their home finale by winning 4-0 Sunday.

Jeff Francoeur demolished his 14th home run with one on and fucking stole Chris Coghlan’s homer in right field.  This fucking guy is an animal.  Sign him please.  We need more guys like this.

Anderson Hernandez actually hit a bomb of his own, which was quite impressive.

Misch, who normally sucks assholes for a living, won for the second time in 13 career decisions. The left-hand meatball tosser walked three, struck out two and retired his last 13 batters.  It wasn’t fucking pretty, but he got the job done.

Misch, who had never gone more than seven innings due to shittyness, threw 110 pitches. This fucking complete game was the second this year for the Mets, who coincidentally suck moose cock. But they did take two of three in Florida, which is something…I guess.

What that is, I have no idea.  Peace in the middle east!